Recipe 1 - expectation

Recipe for happiness -guess what?

There is none.

How can anyone give a recipe for 'your' happiness? Can anyone eat for you and you get the benefits?

No.

Its your life so you have to write your own recipe.
This morning my maid walked in my house happy. I asked myself, " This woman works endlessly in people's houses for her family, where does she find happiness ? What is it that makes her happy?"

I walked out to my yoga class and kept thinking about it. After the class I decided to write my recipes of happiness each day.

So today's recipe is expectation. How much of this seasoning you add is upto you.

It is only human to expect. You expect your computer to work,  expect children to get decent grades, your Internet to work, list goes on. But what really is 'expectation'. It is really your perception of things. You want things to way the way you want.  And of course other person's perception will differ from you.  That's totally fine, we are all different and fallible, I may add.

One of my close friends in Sydney is very happy; at least she seems that way. Does she have a perfect husband?  Is she professionally satisfied or children are  great at academics? In my opinion - no, no and no to all the questions. So how is she happy?

The answer is the expectation. Lower it. Don't think she expects anything from her husband or work or children academics. No expectation and she is happy.
What is more important?

Internet working or internal peace?

Recipe 3 - let go

There was a saying I read long ago - if you love someone set them free. If they come back they are yours. If they don't,  they were never yours. This is for people in love.

I'm talking of something different - let go of things that trouble you.  Incidents you wished never happened,  people you wished never came in your life, memories that haunt you in loneliness.

Think you are holding a balloon for each of these incidents. They may be stuck to your finger with a sticky tape.  They may be hard to get rid of but certainly not impossible. One by one take each balloon, wiggle your finger and let them go.

Once all of them are gone, you have less baggage. After few days find more balloons. If one of the previous balloon is back,  that means you have not let them go. Do it again.

Today was a PTM. I usually get a bit hassled up since I get comments like he could do better. I still did. But somehow it didn't bother me that much. I felt I was sitting in the audience and there was a performance going on. In the end, I held 'could do better ' comments in a red balloon and let go!
 
I used all my recipes so far - let go of my expectations and changed my perspective. Doesn't mean that I don't care about my child results. But I only want to be a guiding soul - it's his life. No matter how hard I push,  nothing will change unless the child wants to change intrinsically.

So am I happy today?  Yes. I applied my recipes.

Recipe for happiness

Recipe for happiness

What is it? Certainly not money. Well I have that but not happy at the moment. Why? ?

I ask myself over and over.  I have a lavish envious apartment over looking a lake, maids to do my jobs, money in the bank but still not happy. Some days I don't want to get out of the bed. In fact quite frequently I don't. What will I do up?  Depressive feelings cloud me.  What am I doing with my life?  There has to be more for sure. Could getting a paid job be the answer?

I am working and busy the whole day. What do I do you may ask?  Nothing really. I've been in India 8 months and what have I done till now?

People ask me, "Are you settled now? ". Each time I am dumbstruck. "Settled? "  what does that mean I ask myself. Being happy is settled for me. Not settled at the moment for sure.

I have so many skills and bring inspiration to so many,  where did I lose mine?  How does someone end up in this state? Certainly can't blame people for this. It's me.
The other day I almost lost it when someone asked me if I was a house wife. I said I hated that word!

I don't hate the word. That's an inspirational woman who sacrifices everything only to get s$hit  from everyone. Thankless and endless job.

Where has the fighter in me gone?  I seem to be cribbing all the time without any thought of light at the end of the tunnel. There are things I can do promisingly, need to look.

One thing I surely miss are my friends. Knowing that they are not around me fills my eyes everytime.  But this time, there is also a lesson. Emotional independence.

Does it make me a weak person missing them?

What is being strong? Is that the recipe I am looking for?

Solitude

Lone seagull gliding in the sky
Over the dark blue sea
waiting for a fish
Travels alone for miles
Back and forth
Solitude it is....

In a flood of people
I sit alone
In an expanse of noises
Whistling ears and ringing cacophony
I wait for my catch
Not knowing when I will find
What and how

For now. .
Solitude it is. ..

Don't hold me

I've just got my wings 

Don't stop me now

The sky has bowed down

To touch my feathers

Don't tie me now.

I have just got my wings 

Don't stop me now 

The sun has cooled down, the fire 

And re-ignited my inner desire 

Don't shackle now.

Let the extremities fetter

In the cool breeze 

Over the green blue lake

Don't tie me now