Recipe for happiness
What is it? Certainly not money. Well I have that but not happy at the moment. Why? ?
I ask myself over and over. I have a lavish envious apartment over looking a lake, maids to do my jobs, money in the bank but still not happy. Some days I don't want to get out of the bed. In fact quite frequently I don't. What will I do up? Depressive feelings cloud me. What am I doing with my life? There has to be more for sure. Could getting a paid job be the answer?
I am working and busy the whole day. What do I do you may ask? Nothing really. I've been in India 8 months and what have I done till now?
People ask me, "Are you settled now? ". Each time I am dumbstruck. "Settled? " what does that mean I ask myself. Being happy is settled for me. Not settled at the moment for sure.
I have so many skills and bring inspiration to so many, where did I lose mine? How does someone end up in this state? Certainly can't blame people for this. It's me.
The other day I almost lost it when someone asked me if I was a house wife. I said I hated that word!
I don't hate the word. That's an inspirational woman who sacrifices everything only to get s$hit from everyone. Thankless and endless job.
Where has the fighter in me gone? I seem to be cribbing all the time without any thought of light at the end of the tunnel. There are things I can do promisingly, need to look.
One thing I surely miss are my friends. Knowing that they are not around me fills my eyes everytime. But this time, there is also a lesson. Emotional independence.
Does it make me a weak person missing them?
What is being strong? Is that the recipe I am looking for?
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